Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Box Olympics

First I would like to say shoutout to my brother @Rell_Mac for getting my blogs on point with his sub par grammatical Westinghouse/Slippery Rock University skills. Now that we established that lets establish something else, the homie @E_Trell is working on a blog that will surely keep you ctfu. Welcome to first class blogs bro, wear that First Class Blog chain proudly. Moving. Right. Along his blog inspired me today, I will tell you how to identify a women with Olympic gold medal quality  box. When I say box i mean the cat, when I say cat I mean pussy lol. 


Below you will find 10 identifiers of outstanding box.


I hope you niggas are ready!
1. If you're fucking her missionary and you start kissing her in the mouth like yall exchanged vowels that bitch has supreme box and you owe her Outback Steakhouse son! Some of you hoes can't be seen in public with niggas so dont be surprised if he gets you a gift card. 

2. If she ain't ya girl but after y'all finish doing the butt naked dougie together, you suck your thumb and or wanna just cuddle with her she has proven her self as a top contender for the Golden Box Award.

3. If you're fucking her without a condom (which Twitter has proven it's an epidemic out here) and you bust in her and immediately sky dive into her womb with your foul ass tongue and begin to indulge in that cum filled pussy. You have just sent her a clear message that her box has brain washed your nasty ass.

4. If at any time during sex (excluding the 4 to 5 seconds before cumin) you tell her you love her and she is a chick you met at the bar/club. Not only did you just forfeit your right as a man to brag about killing the box but you told her in the most feminine way ever that her box is top fucking notch.

5. If she makes you cum 3 times within 25 minutes and never once sucked your dick, her box is very talented. Which means you should probably get her knocked within the next few weeks to ensure for at least the next 9 months you own that box.

6. Let's discuss this type of box. If you pull down the panties and it smells like anything made by Simply (the beverage product for you Save-A-Lot shoppers) you should thank her parents for birthing such a blessing and instantly devour her box with the lick suck kiss method. Trust, she has earned the neck and you need to not fuck it up for real niggas like me by skipping that part of the relations.

7. This next type of box is common in every urban community as well as the islands and South America. This is that box that makes a nigga softly whisper in her ear "I want you to have my baby" as you slowly stroke her kitty to refrain from prematurely ejaculating. Because we all know you will become the topic of the next ladies night while them hoes drink wine and slander men. (Once again hoes love wine son) Fellas understand hoes will talk about you like how they talk about the first friend that they dropped off after the club, ladies dont front you know you do. 

8. You're always gonna have that one hoodrat bitch who ain't worth shit but is built like Trina and wants you to fuck her face and pull her hair. Although she's raggedy, her box has trapped many niggas hence the 4 kids sleep on the floor in the living room, but enjoy the box my nigga and make sure you use that latex fam.

These last two are the two that will most likely have you fighting a nigga at a public event for walking up to her while y'all are together by him saying "Hey stranger." Niggas know what I'm talking about stop frontin!! As soon as he walk away you're likely to say "Who the fuck was that bitch?' LMAO. 


But back to business.

9. Once y'all both have reached the point of an intense orgasm and y'all lay there like you're playing dead but you're breathing resembles one of an asthma patient. Now only that but you get up as your pride still lays in the bed and you say "I'm about to cook what you want?" Not only is she smiling inside but her pussy just recited the lyrics to "I'm sprung" by T-Pain.

10. Now this is the best box on the market these days. In the bullet point number 7, I mentioned a man requesting to procreate with her during intercourse. But in this case, he not only asks her this but without warning unloads his offspring into her love super highway with the intention of sharing a life with her. That is the box that ultimately wins the gold medal for the best box Olympics. The only box that's better is the box you decide to put a ring on and in the hood we all know that kind of commitment is as rare as a nigga winning the lotto and not buying a pair of Jordan's, a necklace and 22inch rims. Yup I said it!!

So ladies what type of medal does your box win, bronze, silver, or gold? There is another level of box and that is diamond but you hoes dont come close to that level tho. I'm sure only Beyonce and Michelle Obama have that and none of you hoes can hook their bra straps, so just chill! (shoutout to Nerd tho)


Fellas does your women, bitch, jump off, or whoever she is to you have that gold medal box? If not then what medal does it receive? 



Written by The Veteran (@I_WhiteMike)




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