South Beach Box

Let's cut straight to the chase!


Niggas who let their queen go to Miami for Memorial Day Weekend have zero care for that bond they share. Ain't nothing down there for her, bruh. Nothing! The moment you dropped her off at the airport you just sacrificed her box to the ballers of South Beach. As you read this just know that ya queen is face down, ass up, in some 400 thread count sheets getting long stroked by a nigga with Ace of Spade on his breath and multiple items of Louis Vuitton balled up on the floor next to the bed. You may have even asked her why she needed to go there. She probably hit you with the classic line, "Stop being like that babe, me and the girls is just going to have fun." Yeah bruh, that means she fucks random niggas who will never even attempt to contact her again after the deed is done...for fun. While you're cooped up in the crib watching Martin reruns, she's down South Beach getting wasted with the likes of Diddy and the MMG team in LIV or Fountain Bleu. Afterwards, being lured back to a telly by a nigga who rented a Phantom for the weekend. 


Her box is now property of South Beach.

You absolutely cannot let your girl, your personal estrogen investment become part of the South Beach history books, B. Certain precautions must be taken to prevent new ownership of the box. You know how your girl is at home but them out of town streets are treacherous with nothing but thirsty vultures and savages. South Beach Memorial Day Weekend???


Thats the Super Bowl of thirst, and you're not even there to pass interfere anything, dawg.


See what people (niggas in particular) don't know is that women who go to Miami for Memorial Day Weekend suffer from "Double Life Syndrome." Sad to say your bitch looks at Basketball Whor...Wives as fucking role models and will be taking her talents to South Beach so she can be just like them. Talents such as having a sturdy chin and a wet snug fit only to be fucked into the equivalent of a wet mop. These chicks are usually sad with their real lives and pissed that her "him" (you nigga) wants to go to Wing Night with the niggas rather than eat her pussy while she eats Butter Pecan ice cream. She wants you to eat the box as you miss the NBA Playoffs while she watches Glee. She hates looking at those scrubs in the morning realizing that Sanford Brown took her money only to be stuck in a dead end job for the next 30 years. So what does she do? She goes to Miami, finds a nigga with a Louie belt, 200 individual tattoos (including that gay lipstick one) and an endless supply of Ciroc. What she doesn't know is that dude is a hustler on the downlow and this is his facade to show his niggas "He gets money and bitches." So fellas when your woman gets back, drop her because she's been poppin ex pills in her ass and been thoroughly acquainted with the term "Gang bang bukkake."


You niggas are really letting your main chick hit the mean streets of South Beach, FL. Your main chick; not your side hoe tho! I'm talking about the chick you bring to family functions and kiss on the mouth. I'm talking the chick that has your moms cell phone number and calls you by your GOV'T name. Shame. On. You. Niggas! You know there's nothing down there but niggas with cargo shorts, Foams, and Polo V necks and they are lurking around waiting for the chance to smash her on a cheap motel full size bed and kick her out after. Real niggas don't do this, B. A real nigga would have told her to the chill the fuck out and enjoy walking around Kennywood (some Pittsburgh, PA shit). "Get into these funnel cakes and cheese fries hoe." This is the problem, too many of you niggas didn't have that old head schooling you to the game. Instead you was thinking about all of the bottom shelf pussy you could be getting. Meanwhile, your queen's walls are getting rammed by a nigga from ATL fake frontin in a rented A7.


Oh, and did I mention Trey Songz is going down there!? Hoes love Trey Songs! That nigga would say some slick shit; invite her in VIP and guess what....she belongs to him. 


The moral of this blog is for you niggas to understand that your main chick, the one you leave in your apt while you run to Wendy's for some Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers, shouldn't be roaming South Beach during Memorial Day Weekend! She should be enjoying cookout food, sipping wine (all hoes love wine), and be at least in the same area code if not zip code as you. 


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Written by the whole First Class Blogs team