Sidechick Rules

Before I even start this blog I must apologize for being away from the blog site for over a month. I been getting my comedy routine together and tryna make moves. Thanks to everyone who supported my comedy in one way or another. I appreciate it.

Today's blog will be about rules a sidechick needs to follow. After this blog u will learn 1 of 3 things. Either you are a sidechick, how to carry yourself as a sidechick or you will get an understanding of the underground life sidechicks live from day to day.

1. On any holiday that employers pay their employees, even though they are not working is a holiday that you have absolutely positively no business even tryna fathom the idea that the two of you will communicate with each other

2. I dont care if you're in the middle of throwing the most record breaking neck you ever thrown in your entire life, the minute that his phone rings you need to turn into one of those English guards that stand in front if Buckingham Palace. Don't say a word

3. Wether you've been with dude for 5 years or 5 minutes, if for some reason you end up with a bastard fetus in your womb you to take the advice of Stevie J and handle that off the rip. Having his kid is a direct violation of the sidechick manual

4. Don't ever ever ever ever call the main chicks phone, show up to her job, come to or call the house and most definitely don't ever in ya muthafuckin life take pics of him while he's sleep. Do not 40 yard dash right to simplyHDR then upload them to instagram smothered in filters.

5. If yall slide out somewhere and happen to be spotted you must immediately present yourself as his home boys girl and act as if you're out with him seeking advice as to what you should do to help spark the fire in bed with your own man.

6. Don't complain, bitch, moan or vent to this nigga about anything. He doesn't truly love you and really doesn't care. You're there to quench his thirst for box, your mouth is for sucking not speaking.

7. Since y'all fuck on a regular you should have his number in ya phone but instead if listing him under his name he must be listed as a cluster of emojis that's helps u and only u identify him. Plus you shouldn't have a pic of him for when he calls ya phone.

8. If you have a kid(s) they should never even meet this nigga. He needs to only be in ya house during Santa clause hours B. They should be well into a dream about Toys R Us or Chuck E Cheese by time he arrives to floor your box. If they do wake up and see him, he should be referred to as uncle (insert a fake name)

9. If you happen to bump into him while he's with wifey and/or the family don't even attempt to make eye contact with him or her. You need to simply face forward, walk away and dismiss that empty feeling in the pit of your stomach of resentment and regret.

10. DONT. CATCH. FEELINGS. HEAUX!!!!
that above statement  needs no elaboration. Just be Obedient.

Now that I've thoroughly described some of the sidechick rules, you should understand by now what your role is in your current relationship. If any of these apply to you then you know what you are and you can either stop the perpetual cycle of relationship struggle and tune into the oxygen channel and obtain some respect or you can say fuck that and become an all pro sidechick. The choice is yours ladies.


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Written by The Veteran (@I_WhiteMike)