Rules to Watching Football with your "Him" Part 1

Welcome back to First Class Blogs

Well we all know that football season is here. The time a man sits in his favorite chair for at least 8 hours with the remote glued to his hand. The time a man invites his other male friends over to enjoy watching their favorite team(s), crack jokes, and all around shit talking. The past Sunday as I watched the games I noticed a lot of things happening that shouldn't have been taking place on a football Sunday. Ladies you must understand football Sunday is a man day, so I decided to gather up a set of rules so that a man's football Sunday can be filled with complete awesomeness. 

Lets get started shall we 

Rule 1: Only and I repeat ONLY ask questions during commercials 

There is nothing worst than a 3rd and long and having your "her" breathing down the back of your neck asking questions about "So what does offsides mean?" I'm sure we all have smart phones in 2013, go in your notes section and just type your question and after this field goal I would gladly answer your question baby.

Rule 2: If my beer and/or 80 is empty fill it up

There is nothing worst than to reach over onto the table and picking up an empty beer and/or cup of 80 (liquor 80 proof for those that are lose). It's Sunday night the Steelers vs the Ravens and you expect me to get out my favorite chair, walk into the kitchen, and get myself another beer and/or cup of 80? Then once I miss Hood pick up a scoop and score you wonder why I have an attitude. You're my "her" by now you should know how long it takes me to drink a beer and/or cup of 80 and I should have a cold beverage waiting for me by my last sip. Thanks babe, I love you too 

Rule 3: Have my weed rolled and ready by 12:30pm EST (Smokers rule)

Once again you are my "her" and you know I like to smoke a blunt while I watch the pre-game. How can I smoke if my weed isn't rolled and the lighter and ashtray isn't available? It is football Sunday, which means for the next 20 or so weeks Sunday's belongs to me. I put together furniture when you ask me, I hang up decorations around the house when you ask, so I am wrong for wanting Sunday to myself. I think not, oh and by the way I love you too babe! 

So this upcoming Sunday ladies please follow these rules and once the fake Faith Hill and Sunday night football goes off I'm all your.

Part 2 dropping soon....

Written by: Every man with a dick and two balls