Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Have A Fucking Seat!

Whats up world it's another Wednesday and I'm here to present to you a different type of blog than I normally do. Over the past few weeks I've been listening to the radio and other various sources of media and there have been a few washed up celebs who have struck every nerve in my damn body. I've decided to give them the "Go have a fucking seat" award.

I will now present these celebs with their awards.


SWV (Sisters With Voices) 


Now this is an all female group that did very well in the 90's. They had a banger called "Weak" and had every bitch wearing cross color jeans and them weak ass Poetic Justice braids y'all hoes wear now. Most recently they dropped a new single this year, all I have to say is SWV go head with that struggle music. Y'all old hoes need to have a fucking seat.


Memphis Bleek


He doesn't need much of an intro. He had two hot albums and then he fell off like bad dope and continued to drop music that no one was checking for. He is Jay-z's errand boy and continues to record music that will only be played on his personal iPod. Plus he did a Garnier Fructis commercial and that's what earned his durag wearing ass his go have a fucking seat award.


(This is coming from @Rell_Mac) Hey Malik Cox you need to fucking chill b. You're dropping WorldStar videos after HOV clearly said in the "Diamonds Remix" you're good, stop pissing away HOV's money and fucking relax son. Your last hit single was "Round Here" and don't get me wrong that song was dope but your wack ass had thee worst verse, please have seat son! The world would greatly appreciate it! 





Olivia


I can probably just put her name on the list and everyone reading this will fully understand without an explanation but I'll slander her anyway. Olivia, this is a Beyonce and Rihanna world. Your music is bottom shelf liquor at best, and you couldn't make it in G-Unit which proves you will be cashing niggas out at a Target very soon. Do us a solid and go have a fucking seat. By the way, tell Rich Dollas to man the fuck up and wipe those tears hoe.








Lamar Odom 


My nigga you need to book a first class flight to the land of chill cause you are fucking buggin. First, you married that wildebeest Khloe and then when the Lakers gave you those walking papers you packed up everything but your pride and started acting like a full fledge bitch in Dallas. Damn you miss Kobe that bad my nigga that you're gonna throw temper tantrums. Smdh. Go have a fucking seat.


George Zimmerman


First off I wanna say FUCK YOU. You're out here on ya top flight security shit thinking you're Craig and Day-Day and trying hunt down niggas. Fucks wrong with you son?! You took an innocent boys life now you're asking for donations on a website yo, you must go have a fucking seat and while you're at it eat shit and go to hell vato.






Bobby Cristina


Bitch you're out of muthafuckin control. You're on WorldStar kissing white hoes and smoking Newports at a house party full of meth junkies. Then your mom passes away and you're trying to swerve on ya adopted brother, hoe you're buggin. You need to jump on Map Quest and find the nearest Value City Furniture and go have a fucking seat lil bitch.


E-40


You are the epitome of pure uncut raw struggle my nigga. You must record all your songs at the struggle factory son cause your music is on life support. You really just dropped a three album set for the price of one. Why not just make it an even four so niggas can have something to slide their furniture around on to prevent damaging their floors. Go have a fucking seat.


Lil Boosie


Listen my nigga your music is designed to target poverty stricken youth and dykes who are active gang members. You were out here being bout that life and caught an ill murder rap son. You should have just kept on making that Soulja Boy quality music while bitches with gold grills wiped you down. Now you're doing a stretch and guess what, you ain't never getting out so go have a fucking seat.


Ashanti


Listen baby I know Busta Rhymes told you we missed you and now you're signed to "Washed Up Records" and he was lying because niggas dont miss you. We often lust your body and sideburns, but your career is over like Whitney Houston's life. Go make Nelly a nice home cooked meal and go have a fucking seat.


Chris Humphrey


You my friend are driving drunk on the thin line of being gay and just being a bitch ass nigga. You wifed Kim K's smut ass and so would I just to penetrate those predominately black only pussy walls but you're acting like a hoe cause she wants a divorce. Pull ya skirt down, pipe her a few more times and keep it moving. Until then u need to go have a fucking seat.


There will be more to come in the future because some of these people need to relax and have a seat. If you have anyone you would like to feature on the next blog please @ me (@I_WhiteMike) and I'll try to fit them in the next blog. I hope you enjoyed your Weds blog and be on the look out for Throwback Thursday from @Rell_Mac tomorrow.


Don't forget to send all your blog slander to fuckyouropinion@gmail.com


Yall be safe!!


Written by The Veteran (@I_WhiteMike)

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