Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Heauxly Chronicles: Type of Chicks to Never Trust



Its that time to to hit yall with the follow up to the first blog of mine...which if you havent read then you are probably a heaux. Just saying. Anyway, it's almost time for summer and niggas need point guards for their team. Furthermore, to have a successful season with heauxs not asking for more minutes or wanting the franchise tag these type of woman must absolutely be ignored.

THE SOCIALITE: She wants to be at every event and be seen. Naw fuck that yo niggas need you to chill at the crib with the redbox rental and flood your TL with "him" tweets. If she doesnt ever want to miss a party than im sure she borrows clothes too, no way you got that many outfits off unemployment b.

THE DRINKER: Niggas dont want a chick that drinks all the time b. Niggas dont want to get that "Yo your girl was wildin last night" text from their homie. If we do then we must Jake Shuttlesworth you in the throat immediately when we see you. Ladies, please reframe from being THAT sloppy girl in the club or you will forever remain on the bench.

THE CAPRICORN: Yes once again...and that is all.

THE SOMEBODY: Nothing good ever comes out of having a chick that knows every single soul on the planet. If the chick has over 500 followers on twitter she cant be yours dawg, her estrogen belongs to twitter. She fake famous now and with more followers it just leads us to report more filthy thirsty niggas as spam. Please save us the hassle

THE PYSCHO: This is a tricky one, you cant really distinguish if she crazy at initial tip-off but after a few quarters played she will begin to show her true colors. Heauxs CANNOT hide crazy b. Best way to tell is once you conquered the box. Now any of these statements are some indicators and if we hear them it will force us to block you...in our real life mentions. For example:

"How you on twitter and liking bitches pics but cant even text me what im doing?"
"Good Morning....*2 mins pass* Hello?.... *1 min pass* You better not be with that bitch!"
"Since you can tweet all day you better tweet you miss me...and @ me too"
"I seen @_____ just started following you...how you know her?"
"*gets in car* Who the fuck was sitting here the seats wasnt this far up last time I was in it?"

These are just a few statements, the shit a crazy chick will think of is limitless.

All of the above described estrogen types are very real and authentic. I cant make this shit up dawg. Then again what do I know right, Im just a 6'4 nigga with waves and a beard full of struggle. Alright im out and so until next time remember....

"Heauxs gon' be heauxs so you cant blame Coretta" - Martin Luther King Jr.




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Yall be cool how yall be cool!


Written by @E_TRELL

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