Draft Day Box

LADIES you have to understand that your box carries a value, every box is different but the rating scheme is universal. I know summer is here already and I know someone is reading this thinking "hold up it ain't June 21st yet, is it" listen B real niggas don't use a calendar to determine when summer starts. The minute niggas start catching hot ones at playgrounds and/or pools that means its summer. That already took place so like I said before summer is here. 


Moving right along. 


Now that summer has arrived right to our door step like a Jehovah witness, ladies you gotta remain disciplined. When I say that what I really mean is don't be a hoe all summer. (didn't Erykah Badu say she was a hoe all summer in that roots song? I think she did). But it's your life so live it how you want but when draft day comes and your ass isnt selected don't look confused.

Draft day is right after labor day when niggas start going through their summer roster to select the woman who will end up cuddled up with(aka cuffed) on his couch come time to see the snowflakes and flu symptoms. If you were running around all summer dishing out the box to every nigga who crosses your path and by path I mean DM then you're not gonna be selected to be the starting QB on his cuff season roster. You may even end up as a special teams back up. Smdh. I'm gonna name a few things that will determine what round of the draft you go

1. If at any point during these 180 days of summer you find ya self getting escorted out the trappers for any reason, you are a ratchet ass bitch who will never see the light of day on any roster and will be forced to try as a walk on

2. If your instagram photo album contains pictures of the following then I'm sorry to say your chances of being selected are very slim. Photos of you smoking or rolling a blunt, your weave looking like god hates you, or  you're in fresh Polo but your son is wearing pro wings, you will go late in the 6th round if you go at all

3. You have 3 kids but 4 babies dads. That right there sounds like failed math but trust me there are 2 niggas out there paying child support for the same kid. This behavior leaves you with the "I just don't understand why" face.

4. If at anytime I witness you spelling words but changing the letters from k to c or any other variation as if you were an active gang member. I will assume you like bitches and cuffing you would be the equivalent to Jordan tryna come back to hoop. POINTLESS. So no drafting will be done with you

5. If you enroll in the homie smasher program you will still be drafted but it will more than likely be late in the 5th round and probably by a team that's not Super Bowl bound. Scratch the playoffs as well.

6. If you manage to let 2-4 niggas cupid shuffle in your box during the summer months then you're headed for a disappointing late selection in the box draft and will receive limited perks and incentives throughout the cuff season.

7. If you're the bitch who clubs from Thursday through Sunday every week and have small children at home, niggas have no other option but to offer you the league minimum. Along with that only let you get playing time when the starters are injured. You're 6th round box

8. If you only let 2 different niggas Lara Croft your tomb I mean womb, then you can expect to be drafted early in the second round by a team with potential to do well in the upcoming season.

9. If you have 0 to 1 bodies the whole summer you will be drafted in the first round and will be considered the teams franchise player for the upcoming season possibly the season following as well.

10. If you have been continually cuffed even after the season was over and due to legal troubles or financial ruin on his behalf you've became a free agent, you will probably be the number 1 overall pic and be the captain of the team. Just maintain that Fiji water smelling box ok.

Now with this quality info I just dropped on your timeline I hope you take heed to this advice and function in society as if you desire to be drafted come the day following labor day. If that day comes and goes without the slightest form of communication from one of the niggas you let do a finishing move on ya box, then just understand your mistakes and train harder for the next season. 


Don't give up, keep hope alive. 


Now go follow my beardless niggas on the blog team @Rell_Mac @E_TRELL and @gritscapone

Written by The Veteran (@I_WhiteMike)