Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The 10 Twitter Commandments

I wanna say thank you to everyone who comes out to my shows and supports my comedy. That means a lot to a nigga like me, so I thank you all again

Over the last year or so I've been paying close attention to what you should and shouldn't do on these vicious Twitter streets. With just something as simple as pressing tweet, a persons whole world be mangled for up to 48 hours if the content in that tweet is bad enough. So I've decided to compile a list of things you should and shouldn't do. This list is called the 10 Twitter Commandments. So sit back and enjoy.

10- Thou shall not send niggas nude pics with your face or any identifiable marks in them, for you shall be crucified on the net once things go sour between you and the other party involved. You will end up being retweeted up and down the timeline in utter shame. This is definitely a no no if your body isn't in shape. Word to @PrettyPiffany

9- Thou shall not take pics with a dick on your face. This is one of thee most epic fails that could grace the viral pit of hell. Once you allow an erect penis to reside where ya cell phone should be, you automatically leave your self vulnerable to twit pic hell. Word to @PoorLilRitchBtch

8- Thou shall not thirst a bitch's DM and once it doesn't go ya way you cartwheel right to her timeline and overload it with slander and derogatory comments. That will sure land you in the land of the screen shots of death.

7- This one goes hand and hand with the last one. Please don't be that nigga/bitch who continues to text/DM/inbox someone 100 times and they're not responding to you. That's the stressed out struggle that you wanna avoid by all means or you'll end up floating around the cyber air of Black Twitter getting verbally slayed. Word to myself @i_WhiteMike

6- Thou shall not masturbate on the floor of an abandon house with a room full of people recording you while you achieve epic high scores in guitar hero. Once this video hits the web you can assume that any DM you receive from that point with be filled with filth and savagery. Word to @ImAwesomeBitch

5- Thou shall not steal a family members credit card and take your dude and best friend to Vegas so they can fuck while your passed out on Mollies, Red Bull and Ciroc. All along in a hotel bed wearing a pair of Uggs you purchased with that stolen Amex. word to @PrettyBritty412

4- Thou shall not let a nigga tell u during peek Twitter traffic hours that when he sees you he will slap the fuck outta you. I mean you can't control what people tweet but after that threat is pushed out on to the timeline it's your sole responsibility to make sure upon first sight of him you make sure he knows to never do that shit again. word to @IH8TETEFF

3- Thou shall not attempt to expose a bitch by posting a video of you fucking her or her sucking your meat if your dick isn't porno quality. You may expose her but all the while exposing yourself. That's the same as cutting off your nose to spite your face. Makes no sense, word to @Trapn_Deezlee

2- Thou shall not post continuous pics of you balling out and displaying expensive items on ya timeline only to have your avi transferred from your Twitter account to the right hand screen of channel 11. All awhile Tameka Artist explains how you attempted to purchase several items from the Louis Vuitton store with counterfeit 100's. This is called FAKE it till you make it, word to @PitchForkPorter

1- Thou shall not rack up a 40 thousand dollar debt on a stolen credit card and continue to post a million watches and shoes and trips to Vegas all the while living with a friend and only to end up on the Feds wanted list. Word to @LongLegLiteSkin

Most people think this blog is me talking shit but it's not. These are simply just examples to learn from instead of learning from your own mistakes, and this was also to show people that if I'm a do a blog that talks shit on people I will @ the people in the blog. Some of those people are my friends and some I don't know at all. I'm even on this list cause the old me used to do sucker shit till I learned to MAN the fuck up. So shout out to @PghHitList for making people confused on what blogs are ours and what blogs are theirs. No disrespect to the people above but these are facts and not fiction.  THIS IS FIRST CLASS BLOGS and I am @I_WhiteMike, thanks for reading.

Written by The Veteran (@I_WhiteMike)

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