Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Real Nigga #OrNaw?

It's Wednesday so you know what that means, wing night, wine night, and my muthafucking blog! There is a major epidemic spreading in these streets and it's just sickening. If you two step on any social network, or bird watch during wine night (cuz hoes love wine), or watch any show ending with Wives. Understand when I they say wives they really mean jumpoff's and BM's. If so, then you'll see 9 out of 10 females complaining about their nigga or niggas in general. And they're always talking about how niggas aint shit and my favorite one "These niggas be acting like bitches." Well ladies did you ever stop to think you're part of the problem and not the solution. Yup I said it, ladies your male selection skills are subpar at most. 


I don't usually bash men but as a real nigga I must let the slander rain down from the heavens on these New Niggas. Now my studies have been inconclusive as to what a "Real Nigga" is and ladies yall haven't been picking real niggas yall choose these so-called real niggas. So I've put together a list of what a so-called real nigga does and or says. Here you go!


1. If you ask a man can he change the flat tire on ya car and he says "I don't know how to do that" he's most likely the nigga who was scared to slap box niggas in the hallways or bathrooms of middle school.

2. If he doesn't know how to mow the lawn or change the string in a weed wacker, there's a good chance he'll DVR more reality shows on VH1 than you. And to be honest that isn't the man for you.

3. If he can iron, cook, and clean but doesn't watch football and can't identify Skip Bayless in a lineup he's probably never been in a pencil fight on the school bus ride home. That also concludes he surely knows nothing about stopping a bike without brakes by using the foot to tire method.

4. If out of the clear blue he says "I'm the realist nigga alive" he's 99.9% more likely to beat the Crest whitening strips out your mouth if you @ a nigga like me on twitter.

5. Should at any time he acts like how Drake was on "Marvin's Room" by getting drunk and crying for 20 minutes on ya voicemail you can guarantee that he will never fight a nigga who spits on you in the club. So I hope you can throw the hands boo.

6. Ladies if you look in places other than the bar, club, and other establishments where 2 Chainz seriously questions the release date on a Bentley truck; then maybe you'll find a man who won't have you checking your personal effects in a locker to converse with him via pay phone

7. If the nigga is saggin his pants, has braids, or pops pills he should be eliminated from your selection by default.

8. If he has tattoos on his hands, face, or the neck above the collar of his dress shirt he's not for you. Matter of fact if he doesn't know what size dress shirt he wears, he's most likely team fuck a job and shouldn't be taken serious as an adult.

9. If he wears a baggy wrist watch at any period he is likely underage or has just completed a stint upstate and is either unemployable or will never work anywhere better than Wendy's or labor ready. So please spare yourself the financial hardship of a life with him.

10. If he has kids with multiple BM's and sees them as much as we've seen Fab during "Love and Hip Hop" then you have to be aware your just going to be another BM who delivers his child alone. If not alone you'll be in a room full of angry single black mothers like yourself who can identify with that welfare and subsidized housing struggle.

So ladies, the next time you venture out on a conquest for love and happiness remember the above stated facts. Also be sure to veer away from these type of niggas and find yourself a real man, a responsible male role model with morals and values. If you choose to ignore me be ready for a life of Emergency Room wristbands and long bus rides for that holiday picture in front of a family oriented back drop and him wearing a freshly pressed state issued Dickie outfit


Yall be safe, I'm out @ me (@I_WhiteMike) for feedback and follow me, also follow my brother @Rell_Mac

R.I.P Travon Martin

Written by The Veteran (@I_WhiteMike)

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