The real question is, once you realize you have a "HIM" instead of a boyfriend will you smarten up or just continue to post these tweets and tweegrams that depict epic levels of false happiness.
1. If you comment on his Facebook status telling him that you miss him and seconds later the post has been removed and you're suddenly not his friend on FB anymore. You can bet your bottom dollar you're the chick he uses to relieve himself when no one else replies to that "what's up text" at approx 2:25 am.
2. This is sort of a gimme but hey fuck it. If Valentines day two steps in the name of love right on to the 15th and u have not received as much as a "Happy Valentines Day" text. It would only be right to assume that he spent that made up holiday with wifey.
3. If you only know him by the name that street niggas and fiends know him by, ie: Dre Loc, Tay Murder or Slim then you can come down the contestants row on the game show "you're the side piece."
4. If you're cool as fuck with all his niggas but never met his mom or any other close relative and didn't even know about his sons that are twins. Go ahead and just chalk that one up as a "damn men ain't shit" tweet and keep on stepping.
5. Do you begin to have a deep rooted stomach ache when u tweet stuff like "I hope I get off Saturday so me and "HIM" can spend time together" if you do it's only cause you know two things. One, you don't have a job and two that no matter how free you are he ain't chilling with you.
6. Does he refer to your kids as lil nigga and lil mamma. If he does or any other variant then you're surely someone he had no intention of connecting with on a deeper level but he will call you if he needs a ride or bail money. So get that ATM card ready for a withdrawal.
7. are you faithful but sleep alone every single night? If you checked no than proceed to number 8 if you checked yes than please describe below why the fuck your so damn dumb.
8. Do you have any pictures together besides the ones you snuck and took while he was sleep and ended up with a black eye because of it? I'm pretty sure u don't. Why would he risk getting caught up with wifey to make you feel all tingly inside silly hoe!
9. Once he's sleep or leaves his phone unattended call it to see what your number pops up as. If its not your name or anything special like babe, boo, wifey, love or anything like that you can rest assure that you're a meaningless piece of late night tail.
10. Take a nice long look around your living quarters and tell me how many of his personal items are left there from prior visits. There aren't any you say! That's because you ain't his girl and he'll be dammed if you're going to reminisce about him while smelling his wife beater or crispy white tee that his main bitch bought him. Nope no way that's going down.
So after reading this what title do you have? Please don't @ me either like "I'm wifey my man comes home to me every night" cause I won't give a fuck for one and two I just won't believe you cause I know men and I'm going to look at your avi and doubt someone comes home to that portrait of struggle daily.
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Written by The Veteran (@I_WhiteMike)
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